There's a bomb on my streambus. Once the streambus reaches 50 yph (yeets per hour), the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do I do?!
Correct answer:
Commandeer the fastest looking vehicle in your vicinity (preferably a 1988 Jaguar XJS). Blaze through the streets of rush hour Twitch traffic until you spot my streambus. Pull up alongside it at 55 yph. And then, once your expectations align with my performance, foolhardily leap from the comfort of your driver's seat into the uncertainty of my stream.
From there, together, we can thwart the mad bombers, maybe shoot a few hostages, and more than likely save the day.
Bamboozling mad bombers and shooting confused hostages out of harms way takes more than just encyclopedic electrical knowledge, a perpetually clean-shaven chin, and the accuracy of a somewhat sober Greek huntress; it also takes GUNS.
And I ain't talkin' 'bout the GUNS a Wild West outlaw would employ for shooting up a saloon after his mistress skips town with the Sheriff's dreamy "Renaissance Man" of a younger brother; I'm talkin' 'bout the GUNS you use to pull yourself out of an exploding bathtub, or push yourself off the pavement after you've stumbled onto your chest, evenly scuffing both pecs, trying to flag down that clueless bus driver who's unwittingly transporting enough C4 to put a hole in the world.
In a world this volatile, it pays to stay in shape.
